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It’s bad enough that I can’t get on a plane without getting strip searched, but it really stinks that I can’t buy a tube of toothpaste without getting harassed by door Nazis at Wal-Mart. Of course the giant retail chain refers to them as greeters, and at one time that’s what they were, but it recent years they’ve become what I call “Door Nazis.”

Wal-Mart used to be a place where you could go to buy lots of fun things really cheap and maybe even run into a few old friends. The checkout process was fairly pleasant and on your way out a nice old man would smile and thank you for shopping. Things have changed.

Now when you visit Walmart you can’t find a basket (they only provide shopping carts because they know you’ll fill them with more impulse items), there are few registers open creating long lines, and when you finally try to leave the store one of their Door Nazis stops you to make sure you are not stealing what you have just purchased (translation: Now Own).

Because of this I rarely shop at Wal-Mart. Even if Target is more expensive I shop there because I’m treated better. I don’t have to wait in long lines at Target and I don’t have to submit to an anal cavity search after my purchase. I understand Wal-Mart trying to reduce shoplifting but I wonder how many millions a year they are losing from customers like me that hate their Door Nazis.

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